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mea's avatar

I’ve definitely been thinking of this lately as someone who has always been afraid of showing my sensitivity to others in fear of being viewed as anything other than “strong” and “tough.” Thank you for sharing this. My self-worth is inherent and not anyone else’s responsibility but my own. Game changer. 🩷

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

100%%% - radical responsibility - and when we own this we can truley step into our power and teach other people how to treat us <3

Wendy Westley's avatar

Hello Andrea, I reread this post today because I feel I connect with you although I don’t have ADHD, am not on the spectrum but I am an outsider. I’m a Christian and it’s not a great popular thing to admit. But I’m not in any of the churchy boxes and I often feel lonely. I wrote a poem this week called Don’t judge me please.

Don’t judge me please

I know women in the Bible

Are worth more than rubies

And are like Wonder Woman

Never tiring, feeding the poor

As well as feeding and clothing

The whole family.

They balance being in charge

With being quiet and humble

And modest in apparel

(Not quite like Wonder Woman, then).

I wonder how I fit it then,

As I cannot sew though I make

A mean pot roast and chocolate cake

That make their way to stomach and to heart.

But I feel there are other ways to please my man.

And although it can be called submission

I prefer to call it love, with deep respect

And occasionally some manipulation.

I also wear some jewellery

Though I have to confess some of it is

Junk. I just like to glitter.

Is that so shallow?

And in the persona of a

Professional woman

I have been known

To wear a high heel or two.

The occasions are rare, like key note talks

(Or meeting Princess Anne)

Though it’s thanks to my bunions

Rather than my gentle modesty

That I walk soberly.

Don’t judge me please

I love to face the day

With a facial mask of powder

And soft pink blush

To hide the weariness of all that toil

And not to scare the neighbours.

But just to reassure you

I first wash my face and pray in quiet room

Often with fasting and with prayer

Before I grab my make up bag

And pretty frock

A modern biblical woman.

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Hi Wendy - what a beautiful poem! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I think its so hard to feel like an outsider, I am so sorry you have felt this way ;( You have got a wonderful talent with words. You should start your own Substack newsletter and post these! I am sure there are many other women in your situation who would resonate! Especially the intersection of being a modern woman. Who said you can't be spiritual or biblical with wearing make up or feeling great about yourself. Thanks for popping into this thread today and keep writing!! x

Rebecca D. Martin's avatar

This post makes me feel known.

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Wow Rebecca that's amazing. That's exactly the feeling I had after my coach said this. It hit me so hard. We are trying to shun the very essence of ourselves! It's such a powerful reframe. My sensitivity connects me to the universe!

Rebecca D. Martin's avatar

Yes! Once you said the words, it was so clear to me. I'm going to be thinking about this for a while.

Dawn Wilson's avatar

Ooooomph! That really resonates!

Personally, I’d change God for Spirit or higher realms. Not to say I don’t believe (I do - in something) but as I get older I’m feeling or leaning towards universal energy. Love this! 💕

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Hi Dawn! I'm so glad it resonates. I feel the same :) God = universe to me :) I don't subscribe to any religious beliefs...more spiritual and open ✨️

Dawn Wilson's avatar

Yes that’s me too! But I love the sentiment 💕

Wendy Westley's avatar

I do believe in God. And love and prayer and healing. All positive energy. ❤️

Nathalie Cordell's avatar

"It's no one's responsibility to accept you. It's your job."

I love that one!

Harsh but 100% true. Sometimes we need to hear harsh truth in order to wake up.

So thank you for sharing!!

The job of accepting yourself and loving yourself unconditionally is excruciatingly hard. So why do we keep expecting it from other people?!

Self-acceptance and self-love takes work. But it's the most worthwhile work one will ever undertake.

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Amen sister! 🤣 The comment shocked me. But it was so refreshingly true :)

Esther Goh's avatar

I. Fucking. Love. That. YESSSSS.

Carol Oyanagi's avatar

Wow, Andrea, that’s huge! I learned a lot just from what you learned. My stuff has to do with boundaries and trying to adapt to what other people need or expect, often losing myself in the process. At those times I have to cling to who God says I am - someone that God created and loves. Small steps for us but big steps for God. (Shedding tears at the moment. ) Thank you for this.

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

So glad it also resonated with you. It was such a profound moment to me. It's like stepping into your super hero and divine strength!!

Stephanie Marie's avatar

This deeply resonated. When we show up as our true, authentic selves, we give others permission to do the same. And that’s how I believe we find

Our true people—-one authentic

Moment at a time.

Canadian Cassandra✨💗🇨🇦's avatar

This! So Powerful! Thank you! 🙏 ☺️❤️🇨🇦

Tanya's avatar

What a beautiful reflection that your coach shared with you. 💗

It takes absolute strength and courage to show up in one's authenticity. Especially if you have trauma, pain or fears around showing the world all that is you. It can FEEL terrifying. But, it's where true freedom lies. 💥

I too have struggled MASSIVELY with accepting my sensitivity, as the beautiful gift that was created in me, by God. Simply, because I grew up learning from my mother that being sensitive was considered weak. I stuffed it down for the majority of my life.

Until 6 years ago, when he(my partner) came into my life and could clearly SEE just how sensitive I was and that I was trying to hide it. With his gentle and gracious love, he encouraged me to embrace that's how I was created to be in this world. Always gently nudging me to show the world my heart. 🙏💗

It's been scary AF to do so and has even felt like I was going to die at times. Yet, I didn't die. 😂

I've actually found more of myself by learning to accept this how I was created and designed to BE. The hardest part for me was learning to quit waiting for the approval and acceptance of others that I could just show up and be, me. I feared rejection and abandonment from others. Yet, by not just being me, I was rejecting and abandoning myself.

Sensitivity is such a beautiful gift that was created for the hearts of others. 💕 Keep showing the world just how beautiful you are by sharing your heart with those around you, they will feel it and always remember how you caused them to feel loved. ❤️

Keep shining that beautiful light, that only you can shine, in the unique ways that you do. Keep showing up in your authenticity, it's where true freedom is found. ✨️

From one sensitive heart to another 💗

Your light is needed in this world. 💕

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Thank you so much for this incredibly heartfelt message 💗 I felt every word. Your story moved me deeply – the courage it takes to reclaim sensitivity as the gift it is… wow. I so relate to what you shared about hiding your heart for fear of rejection, only to realize that doing so was a kind of self-abandonment. Your partner sounds like such a blessing – how powerful it is to be seen with love and gentleness. Thank you for reminding me (and all of us) that freedom lies in showing up fully, even when it feels terrifying. From one sensitive soul to another – I see you, I honor your journey, and I’m so grateful you shared this. 💕 Keep shining too. We’re in this together. ✨

Jennifer Jane Young's avatar

This article was wonderful. I can relate to so much of what you are sharing. As a Highly Sensitive Empath, I feel all those things too and I've often felt like my bio only makes sense to me. Just found you on Linkedin! :)

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Hi Jennifer it's so nice to meet a fellow HSP :) I am so glad this article resonated with you, as much as the idea did with me when I came across it. Such a powerful reframe <3 I am also intrigued how you found me on Linkedin? Have no clue how I ended up on that platform! haha

Jennifer Jane Young's avatar

Thank you!! Oh yes. Actually having a Highly Sensitive day today ;) In your article you spoke about your Linkedin and put a screenshot of your new bio so I went over and connected. It’s nice to be here!!!

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

It's great to be connected 😊 x

Lucie Sweeney Poetry's avatar

Read the whole article and loved it. Thank you!!

Peacefulturtle's avatar

Excellent, thank you for sharing this important reframing of heightened awareness and love. Wonderful to read, to contemplate, and I have also enjoyed reading the thread and comments generated by these insights. Thank you!

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Thank you for reading Peaceful Turtle 🐢

Nicola Farnhill's avatar

Hey Andy, honouring your honesty and vulnerability here. This totally resonated with me as a fellow HSP. In my realization of being an HSP I was desperate to find a positive and just like you I discovered through numerology and my Soul contract that I was here to serve humanity on a spiritual level and could only do this by experiencing life as I had. Including the disconnection I had to my authentic self.

When you're highly sensitive everything hits hard, trauma comes from all directions. And you're often condemned for it.

Only furthering the rejection of self.

When we finally connect the dots and step into embracing our super power(HSP) our true purpose unfolds and joy and happiness follow.

An ongoing journey for all of us,but a worthy one.

Blessed to be connected ❤️✨🙏

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Thank you for such a beautiful message Nicola! So glad we connected :)

Nicola Farnhill's avatar

Ohh as a HSP myself this resonated on so many levels. The overwhelm, the shame. The detachment from my authentic higher self. And yes how the connection to source for me, is through my sensitivity. I believe I'm sensitive because I have a creativity that needs to express what I've come to share. I'm so grateful for being me, now. But just like you it's not been like that always. Thank you so much 🙏✨

Wendy Westley's avatar

I absolutely loved this. I think being authentic is part of following your spiritual path but when I was younger I found it hard to be assertive, and veered somtimes ( often) into aggression or just shut up. I boxed my spirituality up because I didn’t ever want to be known as a God bother or religious nutter. Of course I bother God a lot now: to pray for myself, friends, family, the sick, the world…! Pilgrimage is very important in many faith traditions and the joy of pilgrimage is meeting and learning from other travellers.I am currently writing a book as a Modern Pilgrim and I love it that I’ve found a voice. I’m also very pleased to meet you.

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Wow amazing Wendy. What is your book about? I am a big fan of modern pilgrimages! Thank you for sharing ❤️

Wendy Westley's avatar

I’m writing poetry as a Modern Pilgrim, how my journey has developed on the way. It’s as much about my fellow travellers as about me. I’m almost there, just dependent on dear friend who is illustrating it. She’s in a bit of a crisis atm but when she has finished we will be approaching publishers. Lovely of you to ask.

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Sounds like a meaningful book and process. Wishing you all the best as you wrap it up:)

Wendy Westley's avatar

Thank you so much. Not all my muses will go in the book. Do you find some of your writing is just for you? What is good is that I am using my voice and sometimes it’s good just to pay attention to one’s inner being and inner life? It means that we are learning to value ourselves. I’d be interested to know why you write. Have a fabulous day.

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

I think I write from a place where I need to write - I have always needed to write from a young age. I kept journals from the age of 7 or 8. It feels like a very physical urge of needing to get something ‘out’ - perhaps just translating some of my rich inner life into something more tangible. There is an instant feeling of relief. I also think I write from a place of loneliness sometimes - and wanting to make community and friendships with others who get access to deeper sides of myself that I struggle to bring out in my every day life with friends or family. I find Substack has been such a gift for me in this way :)

Wendy Westley's avatar

I think family can be a real issue. There’s so much expectation that family loves you, gets you but that’s not necessarily true. I have friends who are my family: shared love, concern, values. Keep writing, connecting. You aren’t alone.